i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize