Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
