Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize