If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he shaved USA in his pubs
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
