VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
