Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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