She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize