wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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