A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
