Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
