A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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