so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
