There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
