for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
