so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize