Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
