Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
