YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
