Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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