no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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