oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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