So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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