Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
