so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
