i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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