I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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