fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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