We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
