I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
