Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize