OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
