I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
