well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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