that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
