They should really pass out barf bags in church
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
