this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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