No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
