I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
