Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I had to cum in my sink.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
