You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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