Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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