If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he thought i was a dude.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
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