PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
