I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
