physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
4 words: hood of his car
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
