I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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