Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
