i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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