I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
