I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
