I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize