There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
