their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
well you can't waste a boner
I wish life had little blips of pornography
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
