are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
