Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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