thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
