Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
