that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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