If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
