i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
