it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
