Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
