I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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