Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize