I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
