Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
