we're blogging at a bar
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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