I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
