they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
