There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
