I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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