you would pick up someone in the library
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
