I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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